I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
