Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
