just come out here and I will go home with you...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
