The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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