haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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