Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
