they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
