I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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