Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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