you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
