turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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