you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
