I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
