Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
