We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
