You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
