I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
