I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
