and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
