Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
