I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
