Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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