Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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