they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
