tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
