Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
