I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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