dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
