i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
