love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
