Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize