As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
