woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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