So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
