i just wanna soil my oats bro
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
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