She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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