he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
