i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
