She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
