I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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