lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
