She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
3 2 1 whiskey
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
