I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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