So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
