well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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