don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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