Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
