U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
