So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
