Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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