I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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