I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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