what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
