How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
