I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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