Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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