I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My balls are so social today.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
