id be glad to
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
