You're my little dorito
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
