Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
