We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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