Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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