i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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