he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My vagina is officially offended.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
