I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
