yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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