Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
