bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize