honey bunches of taint.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
