Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize